Un des petits plaisirs de la vie qu'on a tendance à oublier trop souvent. Il est acquis pour certains et inconnus pour d'autres. Pour ma part, je l'ai toujours ressenti sans l'accepter. Je ne voulais pas le voir. Je n'acceptais pas de pouvoir en bénéficier. Je me tenais à l'écart et le regardais comme s'il ne m'appartenait pas. Je voyais leur sourire, leurs habitudes. Je m'interdisais de sourire et d'y prendre part.
Mais maintenant, j'ai grandi. Après avoir vécue sans eux, seule, je comprends maintenant. Après avoir finalement réussit à l'accepter, je ressent un poids en moins dans ma poitrine.
Il s'est fallu de peu aujourd'hui pour m'en rendre compte. Et en mettant par écrit, je le comprends vraiment.
Trois personnes devant la télévision, encore en pyjama à 13h. Regardant et riant devant How I Meet Your Mother. Une quatrième qui arrive en criant "A table!" Aucune réaction de la part des trois. Ou plutôt la même réaction: un bref grognement en regardant toujours l'épisode. Et alors, c'est le drame! La mère éteint la télévision et le père et la fille poussent en coeur un cri de désespoir "Nooon!"
Une scène banale, dans laquelle beaucoup de monde peut se reconnaître.
Une vie de famille. Appartenir à un ensemble. Avoir un père grognon, une mère inquiète, une soeur impatiente et un frère gros ours. J'ai très longtemps considéré que je n'avais pas ma place parmi eux. Depuis mon enfance, je me suis toujours tenue à l'écart. Pourtant, quoi que j'en pense, j'en fais partie. Parce que ma mère s'inquiète sans cesse pour nous. Parce que mon père souffre en silence de mon éloignement en se soignant constamment pour continuer à nous offrir cette vie de famille. Parce que je m'inquiète pour ma soeur quand je la vois triste et malade. Parce que j'ai passé un bon moment avec mon frère. Parce qu'on s'est pris la tête pour savoir les dates de la 3e, 4e et 5e république au repas de midi.
Mon attitude envers eux ne changera pas pour autant. Mais maintenant, je suis consciente d'en faire partie. Ou plutôt je l'accepte enfin. Je l'ai toujours su et j'ai toujours voulu me le cacher. Comme plein de choses... Il m'aura fallu 15 ans pour m'ouvrir les yeux. Avec un peu de chance, je finirais pas découvrir ce que je me cache à moi même depuis ce temps.
"Pour que la vie vous sourit, apportez lui d'abord votre bonne humeur..." [Spinoza]
ninabel
Utopiste amateur... mais où va le monde ...
![](http://ninabel.cowblog.fr/images/image/manga/504137.jpg)
laissez votre trace
- masajistas : masajistas
- tempat print terdekat : Very good writing, I am happy to be able to visit this website.
- Satine : oh putain mais... "Penser à l'impensable rend l'impossible possible", c'est ce que je disais avant! J'avais complètement oublié :')
- DTN-of-the-world : ^^ dommage en effet.
- DTN-of-the-world : Anathema c'est le pouvoir ^_^ cintent que ça te plaise^^
- DTN-of-the-world : J'espère que ça te plaira. la découverte de nouvelles musiques agréables à l'oreille est un plaisir simple et poyrtant génial et addictif.
- DTN-of-the-world : Ha enfin une personne qui se couche à des horaires acceptable U_U Ca serai trop long pour la tagboard je met ça sur ton dernier article
- DTN-of-the-world : Tu veux une liste non exhaustive de ce qu'elle aurait donné si je l'avais conçu?
- DTN-of-the-world : je n'ai pas playlist moi ^^
- DTN-of-the-world : J'adore juste la musique de la playlist. je tenais juste à le dire
- trOlly : ah il est entrainant ton petit blOug :D
- Adele : Muchas Gracias... =)
- Chibikokoro : Merci c'est gentil =) J'adore ton blog !!! Trés joli
- petite-fee-de-pluie : Génial quelqu'un qui connait aussi Thirteen Senses ! ^^ dsl pour ce tag, ça fait un peu pauvre fille allumée...en même temps, c'est ce que je suis certainement :)
- La-confiance-est-obsolete : Super blog, des articles géniaux.. Bonne continuation
- littlestarintheskin : les reves sont les seules que jamais personnes ne pourra nous empecher de posseder
- Satine : coucou! désolée de répondre seulement maintenant, mais je viens tout juste de consulter mes mails, et donc de voir ton tag. si tu es toujours dispo dimanche, moi je suis partante ^^
- Absurde : D'affreuses démangeaisons , les pigeons sont pleins de parasites , c'est assez génant >< , je prefere les mouettes
- Absurde : Non ce n'est pas affligeant , c'est tes deux personnalités qui essaient de se separer , il y a d'un coté l'ame de l'enfant qu'on fut jadis qui s'accroche encore , puis de l'autre celle de l'adulte que nous devenons , qui refuse de garder son innocence
- satine-objective : taguée pour le jeu des 6 choses inutiles à savoir sur toi :)
Lundi 30 janvier 2012 à 1:16
Ajouter un commentaire
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